Sleep, sleep my darlings
Hey everybody! Overall, the book signing was a total success. I signed and sold every copy the bookstore had in stock (15 copies). Actually, most of them were sold in the first 1/2 hour! I will be in Lexington, Kentucky this Friday evening from 7pm-9pm, at the Barnes and Noble in Hamburg Pavillion off Man-O-War Road.
I have a sleep study tonight, which is truly one of the few things in life that is as un-fun as it sounds. The photo above illustrates what I will be looking like tonight, only I am not Chinese...or female...and the lights will be off. So you can disregard it, because that photo does a real shitty job of illustrating what I will look like tonight - tonight, I may remind you, as all of you will be sleeping comfortably in the cozy confines of your beds or the bed of some stranger you picked up at your local watering hole.
I had one in May, ordered because I am always exhausted in the mornings, had a bit o'heart palpitations. They think it is all related to my nocturnal breathing. I am writing all of this to you for lots and lots of sympathy. Here's the gist of the test:
I go into the lab and change to sleeping attire. Then, I have bundles of wires and electrodes (close to 50 or so electrodes) hooked up to me - this is what I am supposed to sleep in. I have to stay on my back for the duration of the night.
Last time, I had a boatload of weird dreams, most of them involving me and the sleep lab I was currently sleeping in. I was rubbing some strange woman's foot; I had a person break into the room I was sleeping in and try to rob me; and another one in which I escaped the sleep lab via the elevator of the one-story building.
I also had a bunch of sleep apnea episodes, most of which caused arousals........of sleep......not the kind most of you pervs are imagining. That is what I thought, though. Instead, it means I am being forced awake by my lack of proper breathing. Of course, when the tall, attractive sleep doctor came in to the exam room last Friday and starting talking about how many arousals I had through the of the night, I thought "Oh, Lord, kill me now". I was prepared to tell her I really had to pee and it wasn't my fault!
If all goes well, I will be out of there by 5am and heading home to clean up and go to work. How fun does that sound? Feel sorry for me yet?